My New Year’s Resolutions
- To procrastinate as much as possible in doing the things that other people think I ought to do.
- To eat as much ice cream as I want today because in today’s social turmoil tomorrow could see dairy cows going on strike.
- To rest my muscles and watch TV from my recliner more frequently because the latest scientific studies prove that the theory of exercise is a conspiratorial hoax promoted by 1) Democrats, 2) Republicans, 3) Independents, 4)Libertarians, 5) idiots, 6) all of the above.
- To stop screaming at the TV while watching the day’s headline news and scream instead at my 1) neighbors, 2) significant other, 3) cat , 4) garbage man, 5) congressman. (Folks, there is only one correct answer here)
Yes, 2018 has been less than most of us wanted. 2019 could be worse. Buckle up and pay attention to the road signs. Let’s try our best to make it serene and prosperous.
WISHING EVERYBODY SUCCESS IN 2019
Y’all know Gabby has a giving heart especially at Christmas. The tree is up, most of the gifts are bought, cards are ready to send. The bell-ringer at the grocery store gets a buck every time groceries are bought and a hearty Merry Christmas is exchanged with friends and neighbors and strangers.
But alas, one gift remains to be bought and sent. Ms. Suze in Enid, Oklahoma, is a difficult gift to choose because, having seen pictures of her house, I know she has every creature comfort at her fingertips. Any floral creation I could put together would pale sitting next to her beautiful craft work. I considered sending her and George a crisp, new $500 bill, but money is such a cheap substitute for a real gift.
So, after much consideration, I finally came up with the ideal present. It is not only useful and pretty, it is practical and healthy. MERRY CHRISTMAS SUZE from Gabby and Larry in Florida.
A carton of fresh, delicious kale from the sunny farms of Florida shipped every month for life to my dear friend in Oklahoma. Enjoy!
Eight year old Johnny and his family went to Grandma’s for Christmas dinner. The feast was laid out on the table, Grandpa was carving the turkey, Grandma was checking to be sure all was in order. As always it was an irresistible setting and finally all were seated ready to eat.
Johnny, unable to wait, began with the mashed potatoes and gravy. Mother scolded him for not remembering his manners. Johnny, with a mouthful of food, looked at her questioningly.
“Johnny, at home we always say a prayer before we eat. Remember?”
“Yeah, but we’re at Grandma’s and she knows how to cook.”