Meredith Bell

staying clean and serene in a crazy world

hard-day

“When was the last time you woke up and wished you’d had just one more drink the night before?

I have never regretted not drinking. Say this to yourself, and you’ll get through anything.”
Meredith Bell, Seven Days Sober: A Guide to Discovering What You Really Think About Your Drinking

I could never understand social drinkers.  They have one of two cocktails or a few beers and go home.  They go to bed at a reasonable hour, wake up refreshed, and powerlesshave a wonderful day doing what most sober people do.  Like eat breakfast, go to work, come home and do chores, you know – normal stuff.

When did we do that?  Oh, we survived our day at work, albeit hungover, we came home from work exhausted and then we had one or two just to make it through dinner.  And after dinner it was off to the races again.  Lots of fun, right?  I never woke up in the morning wishing I had one more the night before.

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Can you relate?  The headaches, the puking, the body stench from a liquor soaked, smoke filled night out.  Yeah, it was a lot of fun, wasn’t it?  Sure wished I had stayed for one more.  Aw hell, sure wish I could remember where I parked the car.  Did I drive home after the party.  Hmmmm, can’t remember.

If you are blessed today with sobriety, give yourself and your higher power a hand.

 

GABBY COOKS – pork chops

Clean & serene living means learning healthy habits and good eating.  And I love recipes that are quick and simple.  Here’s one of my new favorites.

These are the ingredients

 

INGREDIENTS TO SERVE TWO
(2) 1″ THICK BONELESS PORK LOIN CHOPS
(1) CLOVE GARLIC, SMASHED
(1/2) STICK BUTTER
(1/2 LB) FRESH, SLICED MUSHROOMS  more if you love mushrooms like I do
(1) TBSP FLOUR
UP TO 2 CUPS MILK whatever it takes to create a creamy, smooth gravy
DRIED OREGANO AND THYME about 1 tsp each depending on your taste
SALT AND PEPPER TO TASTE
DIRECTIONS
In a fry pan, melt the butter over low heat
Stir in the crushed garlic.  Maintain a med/low heat.  Don’t want any scorching of the butter or the garlic
Add the chops and brown on both sides to a light, golden crust – just a few minutes
Remove the chops
Add the mushrooms and stir to coat with the pan butter
Sprinkle the flour over the mushrooms and stir again to coat evenly
Cook the flour till it turns golden – just a few minutes
Add the milk, stir, add more to bring to a creamy consistency.
Add the herbs, stir again
Salt and pepper now or wait until cooking is done
Return the chops to the pan, spoon gravy over them
Cover and cook over low heat for 35 to 40 minutes
I enjoy these chops served with a packaged rice pilaf mixture

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Brothers in brokenness

 

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I know you have tried time and again;
I see the heartache you suffer;
I feel the pain you endure in defeat.
God knows I want to fix you,
but, I can’t.
Every time you fall to its allure,
and it entices you to partake,
every time you stumble in weakness,
I fall with you and I stumble with you.
We harbor the same demons.
When you become numb in your stupor,
when you lapse into the world of unknown,
when you cry to me for help
my plea for your relief goes to God.
It’s all I can do.
We talk the next day about recovery;
we promise to try harder, do better;
we hope this time to kindle a spark,
that your 1st day of recovery is today.
But, I can’t fix it.
Only an imaginary wall separates us.
One slip and I’m on your side.
One miracle and you’re on mine.
We are a brotherhood of brokenness,
some victorious, some suffering.
Your demons are also mine.
They search our souls for weakness.
They attack in moments of foolishness.
Where you go, I also go for we are one
separated only by God’s grace.
Certainly there is no credit I should assume.
Our paths were as one in our addictions.
The bars were different, the cities different
yet even so, we destined ourselves to the same fate
because we are brothers in brokenness.
Was I special? Was I stronger or more loved?
Why was I the one chosen for recovery
while my brother continues to suffer?
Is it God’s choice or simply a matter of chance?
I wish I could fix it.

cunning, baffling, powerful

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cunning, baffling, powerful

 

powerless

I got drunk last night

there was a fight 

the cops showed up

put me in handcuffs

the kids were crying

the neighbors were screaming

red and blue lights

lighting up the neighborhood.

 

O Lord, I got drunk last night

they put me on the ground

in handcuffs

dogs were barking

people cursing at me

dragged me to the car

cold jail cell

crying, cursing, screaming

crying, cursing, screaming 

wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up

damn it, wake up

crying, soaked in sweat

shaking

I got drunk last night

but it was just a dream

O Lord, it was just a dream.

THANK YOU GOD FOR REMINDING ME

THANK YOU GOD FOR LOVING ME